When we measure success, we usually think of it as a measure of how others view us. Financial status, job status and social status are all effective factors in measuring success. This constant comparison is a bridge to despair and hopelessness that takes the joy out of our lives and prevents us from developing our inner strengths and inner satisfaction.
Success is defined in many ways. The director of LinkedIn’s Mental Awareness and Empathy Division discusses three misguided ways to define success and tries to tell you how you can avoid these mistakes and get on the right track.
Requires approval by others
If you are a small family member, you have probably experienced the need to be seen. These people usually try to get their parents’ attention in the first place and make them admire them. In today’s world, the role of social networks in this field has become more prominent. We are all looking for likes, followers and comments that tell us how we are seen.
Happiness is an inner thing. Of course, this does not mean that we do not care about the opinions of others. But true happiness and freedom come when we focus on ourselves and our adventure. Instead of focusing on the outside world, we should develop our inner strength and think for ourselves.
One way to do this is to always practice loving yourself. Go in front of the mirror every day and express your interest in yourself. You may not believe it, but it can be even harder than posting on social media and getting likes. But if you can turn it into a daily exercise, you will experience more lasting and real effects.
Excessive assessment based on job position
Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. It seems that our personal identity and values are usually tied to our job position. But the LinkedIn manager says that his career advancement has not made him happier. In fact, some of these career decisions have damaged the long-term prospects of his human relationships.
Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. However, a job that has involved us so much today and we have sacrificed everything for it, will probably become just a few lines in the resume section of our LinkedIn profile in 15 years.
At the end of our lives we do not wish we could focus more on our jobs. We all ultimately measure our success by the quality of our human relationships. At the end of the day, what are we willing to sacrifice to spend another day with the people we love?
Yes, working is important and we all still have to work every day. But do not confuse personal value with financial value. Do not forget that human relationships make us happy, not our job position.
Compare yourself with the rest
Comparing yourself to others as one of the criteria for success ultimately leads to misery. If we are looking for progress, why not compare ourselves to who we were yesterday, a year ago or five years ago? Are we happier than that period? Have we gained more information? Do we enjoy life more?
The desire to achieve more is not wrong. We are all inherently creative beings. We are born with a strong desire to progress and express our true nature. We like to use our skills; Whether these skills are to help others, start a company, write or whatever. But how can we escape this trap?
Imagine you want to prepare for a marathon, so you sign up for a track and field club. Consider a 12-week exercise program and a special diet. You strive to achieve this goal every day and day by day you realize that you have become stronger, healthier, faster and healthier.
You get used to waking up early in the morning. In fact, you would expect a workout with your group at 6 a.m. every day. Every day you look forward to the sunrise and look forward to the connections you have made with your training group. Within three months, you will gain a better understanding of your diet and know how much effect your diet has on your body. The family notices your changes and welcomes your new mood.
When the day comes, you have a strategy in mind. You know you should not run too fast at the beginning of the race. Once you have completed part of the route, you will find out for yourself whether you can run faster or not. You must have been tired at that time, but at the same time you feel good.
When you reach the finish line 500 meters away, you will hear the voices of the spectators and you will see that your family is standing by the finish line and cheering you on. They know what you have changed and have been affected by it. This is where you realize that you have done everything you can. So be happy, even if you know that your friend has reached the finish line 12 minutes earlier than you. Because you did your best to do it, and you won the competition.
Developing an internal system for personal guidance is not that complicated, but it can be challenging. The important thing is to step on the path and get ahead of yourself.